


Blood of a Leech

by Fuji09



Series: Leech Off Me [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avery Hockstetter Lives, Bisexual Patrick Hockstetter, Bottom Richie Tozier, Car Sex, Coming Untouched, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Sex, Good Parents Maggie & Wentworth Tozier, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, Henry Bowers is His Own Warning, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Henry Bowers's Gang, Minor Henry Bowers/Patrick Hockstetter, Non-Consensual Touching, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Patrick Hockstetter is His Own Warning, Patrick Hockstetter-centric, Patrick is 19, Patrick is a good brother, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie Tozier is Bad at Feelings, Richie Tozier is a Dork, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richie is 18, Sexual Assault, Sexual Tension, Smut, Soft Richie Tozier, Top Patrick Hockstetter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:14:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuji09/pseuds/Fuji09
Summary: Patrick was not good enough for Richie, he could feel it. He still hung around Henry Bowers, after giving him a swift kick in the nuts for pushing him off the cliff. He still terrorized the kids of Derry. The worst thing he did was let Bowers and his gang kick the loser’s club’s asses. He didn’t join, pretending to be bored of it but really he didn’t want to hurt them.Richie would always look so betrayed but he seemed to understand that Patrick couldn’t save him or his friends. When Henry growled at him to help, Patrick would shrug and light a cigarette. Henry had grown more and more annoyed with Patrick’s behavior, his behavior only with the losers.
Relationships: Patrick Hockstetter/Richie Tozier
Series: Leech Off Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057358
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	Blood of a Leech

**Author's Note:**

> It took me quite a while but I finally got out part 2 of Like A Leech To Flesh. If you haven't read that one yet, I'd recommend reading it before reading this one or it won't make much sense. This will be a series that will have a couple more fics to it so don't worry, this isn't the end just yet.

Patrick was not good enough for Richie, he could feel it. He still hung around Henry Bowers, after giving him a swift kick in the nuts for pushing him off the cliff. He still terrorized the kids of Derry. The worst thing he did was let Bowers and his gang kick the loser’s club’s asses. He didn’t join, pretending to be bored of it but really he didn’t want to hurt them.

Richie would always look so betrayed but he seemed to understand that Patrick couldn’t save him or his friends. When Henry growled at him to help, Patrick would shrug and light a cigarette. Henry had grown more and more annoyed with Patrick’s behavior, his behavior only with the losers.

“What the fuck is your problem faggot?!” Henry yelled at Patrick once the losers had managed to get away from them.

Victor and Belch stayed behind Henry, they were honestly scared of both of them but they knew Henry would protect them, they didn’t know if Patrick would do the same for them.

“Fuck you! I told you I’m bored with beating on seniors in high school when we have already graduated.”

Henry glared and gave an angry huff as a response then walked away, Victor and Belch followed, Victor looked back at Patrick once but continued to follow their leader.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Behind the arcade, Richie’s back was pressed against the brick, he was sweaty and hot but he still pulled Patrick closer. They weren’t sure exactly how it happened, Richie asked for Patrick to meet him there to talk. They had started arguing, Richie was tired of Patrick not doing anything when Bowers kicked his ass, and Patrick was tired of Richie expecting him to go against his group leader.

Where they ended up, was sloppily making out behind the arcade. Patrick’s body was pressed up against Richie’s, his hands roamed and touched everywhere he could reach, Richie would grind on Patrick’s leg that was in between his own legs. Richie pulled Patrick’s hair, he loved it when Patrick would moan into his mouth, and pulling his hair made him moan, loudly.

“Fuck! You’re so hot,” Patrick muttered in between kisses.

Richie didn’t feel like he looked hot, in fact, he felt like he looked dorky. Even though the black skinny jeans he wore made his legs look quite nice, he still wore Hawaiian shirts over t-shirts, he loved it but knew most people didn’t. He always wore a band tee or a gaming tee. Today he was wearing a black The Used t-shirt under a blue Hawaiian shirt.

“We are gonna get caught if we stay much longer,” Richie whispered.

Neither wanted to stop but they knew their friends would come looking for them if they were gone for too long. Henry was stealing tokens to play games and the losers club were trying to stay out of Henry’s warpath.

“Come to my house.”

Richie thought about it, should he? He knew what Patrick’s intentions were and he was game for having some fun but was it the right thing to do? With all these conflicting feelings he wasn’t sure.

“Avery misses you.”

“Well fuck how can I say no now?” Richie asked.

Patrick smirked and led Richie to his car, Richie ducked down until they were out of downtown, they could not afford anyone seeing him in Patrick’s car. Once the coast was clear Richie sat up and put on his seatbelt.

“Are your friends gonna worry?”

“I’ll text the group chat and let them know I left,” Richie said as he took his phone out from his pocket.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  


Richie hoped Mr. Hockstetter wasn’t home, he didn’t want a repeat of what happened last time he was there. He hadn’t seen any bruises on Patrick in a while so he hoped he was able to keep his distance away from his father.

The boys made their way to Avery’s room, as usual, the boy was playing on his computer, headphones on, and unaware anyone was in his room. Patrick walked up to him and waved his hand beside Avery’s face to get his attention. Avery smiled and paused the game and took off his headphones.

“Did you get it?” Avery asked excitedly.

“Get what?”

“You said you would get me chicken nuggets from McDonald’s, and fries with no salt.”

“Aww shit, I forgot, here, hang with Richie and I’ll go back out and get them,” Patrick said as he maneuvered Richie in front of him.

Avery’s eyes grew wide at seeing Richie. Avery constantly talked about Richie to Patrick, if he wasn’t talking about video games. Richie had made a good impression on Avery when they met in person, he turned out to be exactly how he was online, a potty-mouth, but a really good guy.

“Richie! I have new mods on  _ Minecraft  _ I have to show you, you’ll love it!.”

Richie smiled and pulled up a chair next to Avery to watch as he switched games. Patrick waved and made his way out of his room to grab the promised chicken nuggets with unsalted fries.

“Hey, why do you get unsalted fries?”

“They are fresh, they don’t have unsalted laying around for long periods of time like the salted fries. I like fresh fries.”

Richie nodded and thought it was actually pretty smart. If he didn’t love salty fries so much he probably would have tried it. Avery brought Richie out of his thoughts and together they looked at the new mods Avery had set up. He was so proud of how his world looked and Richie found it cute.

  
  


Before they knew it, Patrick was back, and he got food for all of them. He made sure to separate Avery’s food into its own bag, and handed Richie a huge burger. They ate in silence, none of them realizing how hungry they were until they started eating.

“Thank you,” Avery said softly.

Patrick smiled and nodded, Richie loved watching them interact together, a completely different Patrick than what everyone else got to see. Richie felt special, he got to see the real Patrick, at least most of the real Patrick, he knew some of the shitty things he did were still the real him but he also saw there were small changes.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Richie felt guilty for not feeling guilty. He ditched his friends to hang out with Patrick Hockstetter. Saving Patrick’s life had made Richie’s entire world change and he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. He enjoyed fooling around, Patrick knew how to make him feel better than he ever had, but he couldn’t help but feel like any second now, the world was going shatter all around him.

As soon as Patrick looked at Richie with concern, he knew he had been in his head for too long. His mind was always racing, even when Patrick’s mouth was on his neck, leaving wonderful bruises.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Patrick asked.

The kisses on Richie’s neck had stopped and he wondered how long he had zoned out. Richie looked at Patrick sympathetically, he didn’t mean to ruin the moment, his mind was just running away from him again.

“Sorry, I uh, I just feel guilty.”

“What? About what we are doing?” Patrick asked, as he sat up and got off of Richie.

Richie instantly missed the warmth of Patrick’s body on his, he saw Patrick adjust himself and so he sat up, trying to think through his words carefully before speaking. He knew he had a bad habit of saying the wrong thing or saying something the wrong way.

“Not about this, just, I  _ don’t _ feel bad for ditching my friends, and that makes me feel like a shitty friend.”

“You let them know you were leaving, did they seem upset?” Patrick asked.

Richie shook his head, they hadn’t seemed upset at all. Eddie seemed a bit confused since he normally had to drag Richie out of the arcade when everyone else was ready to go, but everyone seemed perfectly fine with him having to leave early. He hated keeping secrets from them, hiding his secret meetups with Patrick from his best friends almost felt like a betrayal but he knew none of them would understand, especially Eddie. He knew Eddie would be the angriest about it, he hoped he never had to deal with Eddie finding out.

“I’m not used to hiding things from them,” Richie whispered.

“I mean, you never told them about your crush on Kaspbrak- don’t look at me like that, I’m not a stalker, but I did see you carve both of y’all’s initials onto the kissing bridge. And no, I never told anyone.”

Richie’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He thought no one knew, he was so sure no one was around, he was taking that secret to his grave. Eddie could never know, that would ruin their friendship.

“You have known for like six years about that?!” Richie squeaked out.

“Yeah. I mean I knew anyway, the way you two bicker like an old married couple, I’m surprised the two of you never dated.”

Richie felt his breathing start to get faster, his heart was beating harder, he was just now finding out how obvious his crush on Eddie was, how transparent he apparently was, did Eddie know?

“Hey, calm down. It's ok,” Patrick said soothingly.

Richie jumped off the bed and started pacing the floor, how in the world could he calm down? In the most homophobic town, everyone knew, the whole world probably knew by now. Richie Tozier had romantic feelings for his friend, that’s a boy, who is terrified of germs and has a homophobic mother constantly spewing shit about aids to her son.

“Calm down?! I can’t calm down! How am I not dead yet? How is Eddie still my friend? How are any of the losers still my friend? How come my body hasn’t been found in a river beaten bloody?”

Patrick stood up and pulled Richie into his arms and held him there. It could have been an hour or it could have been thirty seconds, but in that gesture, that small but significant gesture, Richie felt safe. Patrick was warm and held on like his life depended on it. Richie was shaking and clinging to Patrick, in his entire life, he never expected to be here.

“Eddie is oblivious, just like you are. Your friends don’t care if you have feelings for a boy, if anything they find how you act around Eddie amusing,” Patrick said softly.

“How am I oblivious?”

“Nevermind, come on, let’s take a nap,” Patrick suggested.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  
  
  


Richie awoke to soft kisses peppering his face, he could feel those lips smile slightly, and he couldn’t help feeling fuzzy and warm. Patrick still had his arm around Richie, he fell asleep laying on his back with Patrick laying on his side holding him close. It was comfortable and it was safe, it was everything Richie had ever wanted with someone.

“That feels so good,” Richie mumbled.

He felt Patrick’s warm breath tickling his cheek as the cutest huff of amusement left his lips. Patrick snuggled his face into Richie’s neck and stayed there, both content, but also knew it couldn’t last forever. Richie would need to get home soon, as much as he wanted to stay, he knew he couldn’t. His parents would wonder where he was, they were actually home and he didn’t want them worrying, or worse, asking where he was.

“Don’t go,” Patrick whispered, as if he was able to read Richie’s mind.

“I have to,” Richie responded sadly.

Patrick groaned and squeezed a little tighter before letting go. Richie sat up and looked down at the other boy. Fuck, Patrick was cute, he always thought so, even though he never would have admit that. He kissed Patrick softly and then was gone, the vibrant air left with Richie, leaving a dull sadness behind.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Richie laid in bed, he had been trying and failing to sleep for several hours but he found that tears kept falling and he gave up. It shouldn’t be this hard to be with someone, and they weren’t even a thing, just fooled around whenever they could. He felt like Patrick had feelings for him but what if he was wrong? What if it didn’t mean as much to Patrick as it did to him?

He wanted to talk about it, he desperately wanted to pour out his concerns, how long could they continue to do this before getting caught? Someone was bound to notice them slipping away together, Richie leaving Patrick’s house, or even the stolen glances when nobody was looking.

Richie grabbed his phone, pulled up Patrick’s contact info, and was about to hit call, but he hesitated. Would he even answer? Would he wake him up? His mind threw around every little thing he could possibly worry about. He took a deep breath, held it, and then hit call. The sounds of ringing were interrupted by a rough voice.

“Richie? Is something wrong?”

Richie let out the breath he was holding and opened his mouth to speak, but instead of calmly talking about what was haunting him, he began to cry, he tried to keep from making a sound but Patrick could hear it.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Where are you? I can come get you.”

“I’m sorry,” Richie blurted out in between sobs, “I’m at home, I just, I don’t know what to do.”

Richie could hear shuffling on Patrick’s end, was he really going to come to Richie’s house? He felt so guilty for even trying to call, now he felt even worse. He heard keys jingle and a couple of doors shut before he heard Patrick open and close his car door, and then started the car.

“I’ll be there in a bit, I’ll stay on here with you until I get there.”

  
  


Richie sat outside on the porch, it was chilly out and he wished he had put some shoes on, and he didn’t feel like getting up to get them so he would stay cold until Patrick got there. Which was pretty quickly, he stood up and walked to Patrick’s car, opened the passenger door, and got in.

Patrick drove off and both were silent until Patrick got to a secluded area, trees all around but still open so the beautiful night sky could be seen. Patrick shut off his car, he had cranked the heater when he saw that Richie was only wearing a t-shirt and boxers.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong,” Patrick whispered.

“I can’t do this.”

Patrick turned to look at Richie but he refused to meet his gaze. Patrick took his hand and softly grabbed Richie’s chin and turned his head to force eye contact. Those beautiful blue eyes that were slightly puffy and red from crying, held such sorrow that Patrick felt a pain in his chest.

“What do you mean?” Patrick asked, hesitantly.

“This! You and me, fucking, sneaking around, cuddling, giving me fucking whiplash! One moment you’re sweeter than candy and then the next you’re a fucking animal! I don’t know how you feel, I don’t know if this is all just a game to you, I don’t  _ want  _ to like you! It’s too much!  _ You  _ are too much!”

Patrick sat there, silent, trying to process everything Richie was saying. It’s true that sneaking around was difficult, he can admit to being sexual one minute then romantic the next, and he could even admit that he was terrible at expressing how he felt. The one thing he couldn’t understand was Richie not  _ wanting  _ to like him, for some reason, those words are what hurt the most. He wasn’t playing a game, he wasn’t trying to give Richie whiplash, he cared about the awkward boy.

“What the fuck?!”

Richie flinched at the loud words, and Patrick looked at him apologetically, he hadn’t meant to be that loud. He caressed Richie’s cheek but felt his stomach drop when Richie pulled away.

“I was stupid to ever do this, I don’t know what I was thinking, you’re my fucking bully! Do I have fucking Stockholme syndrome?! What the fuck is wrong with me?” Richie asked.

“Nothing is wrong with you. Did something happen? Did someone say something to you? I want to understand…” Patrick trailed off.

Richie growled, annoyed with himself and annoyed at the boy he should not be finding attractive. He ran his hands through his hair, ruffling up his already crazy bedhead. The frustration was building, he wanted to scream. Tears welled up in his eyes, they fell down his cheeks and he honestly didn’t know if they were tears of frustration or tears of sadness.

Patrick slowly reached towards Richie’s face and brushed away the tears that kept falling. Richie looked into his eyes and he saw concern, his eyes were screaming at Richie that he cared and that he was worried. Richie surged forward, crashing his lips on Patrick’s and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s neck. Patrick made a startled noise but quickly kissed back, pulling Richie closer until Richie straddled Patrick.

It was a bit of a tight squeeze, the steering wheel digging into Richie’s back but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He shoved his tongue in Patrick’s mouth and he began to grind against Patrick’s growing erection. His hands were in Patrick’s hair and he pulled, he bit Patrick’s lip, and he kept trying to pull Patrick closer. Patrick tried to fight the haze that clouded his judgement. He knew Richie needed to talk, not avoid the problem by trying to make himself feel good, but logic quickly lost that battle.

Patrick’s hands gripped Richie’s thighs at the hem of his boxers and slowly riding up as far as he could, the sweet noises he brought out of Richie went straight to his dick, his own deep throaty moans seemed to encourage Richie to go farther, his hands left Patrick’s hair and traveled down to his jeans, quickly popping the button and unzipping, he shoved his hand down Patrick’s pants and grabbed his dick. Patrick damn near growled and pulled away from the passionate kiss to bite and suck glorious purple bruises on Richie’s neck. Richie keened and arched his back, the fluttery gasps leaving Richie’s lips were the most beautiful sounds Patrick had ever heard.

“Please Patrick,” Richie begged.

“Tell me what you need baby, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Fuck me,  _ please,  _ fuck me!” Richie yelled.

So Patrick complied, he opened his car door, got out while still holding Richie who quickly wrapped his legs around Patrick’s waist, opened the car’s back door, and threw Richie into the back seat. He crawled on top of Richie, grabbed a bottle of lube he had on the floor, and began to coat his fingers. Richie was already squirming before Patrick even pulled down his boxers, he slowly began to insert his finger, Richie moaning and pulling Patrick closer to him. He buried his face into Patrick’s neck, breathing deeply, and trying to stay quiet since the car door was still open.

One finger turned into two once Patrick felt that Richie was relaxed enough for another, Richie begged and pleaded for a third finger but Patrick waited a bit, he didn’t want to end up hurting Richie. Finally, he felt he could safely add in a third finger, and Richie moaned obscenely. He felt Richie’s teeth and tongue on his neck, he had a feeling he would be sporting hickies tomorrow as well, and then he hit Richie’s prostate.

“Fuck!” Richie yelled.

Patrick smirked and began to hit the same spot, he was relentless and he could feel Richie’s entire body violently trembling. He could hear the delicious whimpers Richie tried so desperately to hide.

“Patrick, please, please, for the love of God, please fuck me!”

Richie had tears falling down his face and Patrick thought in that moment that Richie looked wrecked, but he also looked beautiful. He slowly pulled his fingers out, chuckled at the whimper Richie made at the loss of being filled, lubed up his cock, and then lined himself up to Richie’s hole.

Ever so softly, Patrick leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Richie’s lips, his chest heaving and his body squirming, Patrick never wanted to see anyone else like this. He hoped he could show Richie how much he cared about him, how much he wanted him. Slowly he inched inside of Richie’s tight hole, Richie gasping as Patrick’s dick kept going until he bottomed out.

Patrick stayed still, waiting for Richie to adjust, he was breathing heavily, he was shaking with anticipation, and when Richie nodded, he slowly pulled out almost all the way but then shoved himself back in. He picked up the pace until he was roughly fucking into Richie. He loved the way it felt when Richie would clench, he loved the way Richie sounded so debauched.

Richie’s moans started to get higher in pitch, he gripped Patrick as tight as he could, and he kissed Patrick’s lips like they held the answer to all his problems. Patrick felt that familiar coil in his abdomen, he knew he would be coming soon, he could tell Richie would be as well with the way he was clenching.

“Come for me Richie,” Patrick whispered in Richie’s ear.

That was what sent Richie over the edge, he came with a shutter, the warm breath on his ear tickled and he felt so many different sensations all at once. He felt thick hot ropes of cum hit his stomach and began to feel overstimulated.

“Patrick! Fuuuuuck.”

Patrick came with a shout of Richie’s name, and once he rode out his orgasm, he plopped on top of Richie, forgetting doing so would cause Richie’s jizz to smoosh in between them. He placed his face in the crook of Richie’s neck and stayed there as he came down from his high. Once they were both breathing normally again, Patrick sat up and slowly pulled out. He grabbed a towel from the floor of his car and wiped himself off then handed it to Richie.

“Thanks,” Richie mumbled.

They both got dressed and got back up front, then sat in silence for a while. It was a comfortable silence, but there was still that tiny twinge of anxiety in the back of Patrick’s mind. Should he wait and let Richie speak first? Should he say something? Should neither of them say anything?

“Patrick?” Richie asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared,” Richie said meekly.

Patrick looked at him with a sad smile on his face. He was scared too, what did this mean for them? What did Richie’s meltdown mean for them? Was this a goodbye? He prayed it wasn’t, he realized his feelings were becoming stronger and stronger for the boy in the dorky glasses.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Patrick froze as his words hit the air instead of staying inside his head where they belong. He turned his head slowly to get a glance at Richie, and he found the poor boy wide-eyed, and still as a statue. Patrick’s heart started to pound, he felt all the blood rush to his heart, he could feel it pumping harder than it should. Now Patrick was the one who was scared, he blew it, he fucking blew it and Richie would never even look at him ever again.

“Me too,” Richie said so softly that Patrick wondered if he imagined it.

  
  


“Richie…”

He saw those gorgeous eyes look at him, Richie’s eyes were magnified by his glasses, giving the illusion of large eyes but Patrick still loved them. Patrick shook a little, he took a deep breath and tried to gather his thoughts and organize them.

“I’m sorry,” Richie blurted out louder than he meant to.

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorr-,” Richie was cut off by Patrick grabbing his neck and pulling him into a heated kiss.

Richie hummed in content as he let himself enjoy soft lips on his own. He felt Patrick’s hand slide up from his neck to cup his cheek and softly caress his cheekbone with his thumb. Patrick pulled away slightly, their lips still brushing against each other, he needed Richie to understand how he felt.

“Richie, you’re the first person other than my brother that feels real to me. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before, you make me want to be better, you make me act better, fuck you make  _ me _ better. I want to protect you, I want to hold you in my arms and never let go. Goddammit Richie, I can’t lose you.”

Patrick felt tears hit his hand, his lips were back on Richie’s kissing him fervently. Richie was crying and clinging to Patrick’s shirt for dear life. Patrick held him, if he could keep Richie in his arms, then maybe he wouldn’t disappear. The center console in his car dug into both of their hips but neither complained. The moment could linger for as long as it wanted to if Patrick had any say in it.

Unfortunately, the moment had to come to an end and Richie pulled away, he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs as he stared out the window.

“I need to get back home,” Richie whispered sadly.

Patrick was silent as he turned his car around and made his way back to the Tozier house, he kept sneaking glances at Richie, wanting him to say something, anything. He was internally begging for Richie to speak, to tell him everything would be alright.

Richie stayed silent the entire ride home, Patrick gripped the steering wheel too hard and his knuckles had turned white. He stopped in front of the Tozier house, he fully expected Richie to bolt the moment the car came to a stop but he didn’t. He just sat there, staring out the window.

“Come inside with me,” Richie said so softly Patrick wondered if he heard right.

Richie opened the car door and got out, Patrick shut off his car and got out and followed behind Richie. Once inside they made their way to Richie’s room, careful not to wake his parents. Richie left the lights off as he crawled into his bed, exhausted from everything that happened.

Patrick took off his jeans and then slowly made his way onto Richie’s bed and got under the covers. Richie was laying on his side facing the wall, so Patrick curled up behind him and wrapped his arms around Richie. Patrick enjoyed holding Richie, and spooning was so comfortable with him.

It was time for sleep, they were both easing their way into slumber, knowing the next day would be hard, but that was a problem for future Patrick and future Richie. Right now, they would cuddle and sleep, and they would savor every second of it.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


At around noon, Maggie Tozier decided to wake her sleeping son, he had already missed breakfast, she was going to make sure he had lunch. She knocked on her son’s bedroom door but there was no answer, she hoped he hadn’t snuck out again to go to a certain asthmatic boy’s house. Richie never knew that Maggie knew about those late-night adventures of his.

Maggie opened the door and walked inside to find not just her son still sleeping in his bed, but another boy, and not one of his friends either. She was used to Richie sometimes having Eddie or even Bev over when their home’s were just too much for them and she always welcomed them. This boy however looked familiar but she still didn’t know who he was, and why he was spooning her son.

“Richie?” Maggie asked tentatively as she gently shook her son.

Richie groaned, rubbed his eyes but didn’t open them, and tried to snuggle into his pillow more. Half asleep Richie’s thought process was usually him trying to stay asleep, avoid his mother, and hope she would leave. Today, however, she did not leave.

“Richie,” she said louder.

Richie tried to turn over on his back, with a groan, he felt another body in his bed. His brain was catching up and the moment he remembered he had Patrick Hockstetter in his bedroom, his eyes opened wide and he sat up quickly while pulling his blankets over himself. He was still wearing a t-shirt and boxers so the covering up was a bit comical to his mother, she tried not to laugh but a smile tugged on her lips.

“Mom! What are you doing in my room?”

Richie’s loud words startled Patrick awake, and when he looked at Richie to see him wide-eyed and panicked, he sat up quickly, praying Richie’s mother wasn’t actually in the room. No such luck, Patrick was in Richie’s bed in nothing but a shirt and boxers, the entire situation looked compromised. He blushed and looked away in shame, glancing at Richie’s red face.

“You slept through breakfast and it's now almost noon, lunchtime, but I didn’t realize you had... a  _ guest _ over.”

Richie was mortified, he wasn’t even out to his parents and of course, his mother finds him with another boy in his bed. He was slightly grateful it wasn’t his father who found them, that would have been even more awkward. He still would rather be anywhere else on the entire planet than right here in this moment.

“I uh, this Patrick. He uh, came over because... he needed a friend, so I had him come here to talk and we fell asleep, I’m sorry ma,” Richie lied.

Patrick would have laughed if he wasn’t being scrutinized by the mother of the boy he was falling for, he could feel the judgement, maybe not judgement of him, but of finding her son in bed with another boy, clearing cuddling.

“Sweetheart, I don’t care if you like boys, just maybe um, put a sock on the doorknob or something next time.”

Richie stared at his mother, he could tell she felt a little embarrassed too. Patrick was clearly dying inside, he seemed to be trembling. It was almost as if he was scared. Maggie stood there, unsure if she should leave or stay, she had never been in this situation before. She thought that maybe one day Richie would be caught with a girl, but this, this was uncharted territory.

“What the fuck? We didn’t do anything in here, we just slept!” Richie exclaimed.

Maggie sighed and turned around to walk out, shutting the door behind her, she had to get out of there, she needed to think, did she need to have a talk with her eighteen-year-old son on safe gay sex? Did she need to supply him with condoms? Did he even still need condoms? Wait a second, did he say they didn't do anything  _ in there? _ Was that implying they had somewhere else?

Maggie got downstairs and saw her husband sitting at the table, waiting patiently for lunch, on his laptop. She tried to act normal, this was not something she wanted to talk about to Wentworth just yet, she needed time to process it for herself.

“Was he in there?” Wentworth asked without looking up from his laptop, still typing away without missing a beat.

“He has a boy with him! They were cuddling, spooning! I think Richie is having sex, with a boy,” Maggie blurted out, so much for processing it first.

“Eddie is clean and does everything by the book, there is nothing to worry about. If anyone is safe to have sex with, it's that boy.”

“It isn’t Eddie, dear,” Maggie whispered.

Wentworth’s eyebrows shot up, the only indication he was surprised, and finally looked up at his wife and saw the worry in her eyes, he closed his laptop and grabbed her hand to pull her in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held her until her breathing was back to normal.

“Better? Now, you and I both know Richie has been crushing on Eddie since they first met, why is Richie with another boy a shock other than it being not Eddie?” Wentworth asked.

“I don’t know this Patrick guy, he seems older and he’s a bit rough looking. I also don’t know if Richie is being safe, they don’t exactly teach safe sex to gay kids in school.”

Wentworth hummed as he began to think, his wife did have a point, he could try looking it up online but he was worried about the stuff he would come across, plus his search history would be very awkward if anyone saw it.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Patrick was shaking, this was it, this would be the end of him. Parents talked, even though his parents were shitty, he knew moms talking to each other at the store, book clubs, and even just in passing, gossip was like crack to the women of Derry. If his mom found out, she would tell his dad. If his dad found out, he was dead, he knew his dad would actually kill him.

“I’m dead, I’m fucking dead,” Patrick muttered.

“Hey, hey, it's ok. My mom isn’t homophobic, she may be ignorant in some areas but she wouldn’t hurt us.”

“Not her! My dad will fucking murder me, and he’ll try to kill you too! Fuck I’m sorry.”

Richie wrapped his arm around Patrick and held him. His eyes watered when Patrick slid down, his head in Richie’s lap. Patrick wasn’t scared of anything, he had made that quite clear many times, his hatred for leeches was the closest thing to fear.

“It will be ok, I’ll explain that no one can know and they won’t tell anyone, I promise,” Richie whispered as he started to run his fingers through Patrick’s hair, hoping to soothe the older boy.

“If I’m dead, no one will be there to protect Avery.”

Richie’s heart broke as he realized, Patrick wasn’t afraid of dying, he was afraid of the danger his brother would be in. Richie wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to Avery or Patrick. His parents would know what to do, they could help them stay safe. Maggie absolutely despised gossip, the only woman in Derry who didn’t live for the drama of their small town. Wentworth wouldn’t tell anyone, those sort of subjects weren't talked about, unless he was talking to his wife or son, and even that was slightly limited.

“I’ve got you, you’re safe, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I’ve saved your life once already, I’ll fucking do it again!” Richie said.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Richie and Patrick walked down the stairs, Patrick keeping his eyes on the floor, Richie hoping his parents wouldn’t say anything embarrassing. Richie wanted to talk to his parents and Patrick did not want to stay around for that.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your  _ guest,  _ Rich?” Wentworth asked with a smile.

Maggie playfully batted at her husband’s arm and Richie groaned. Patrick froze and contemplated whether he should just make a run for it or hope to god that the Tozier’s didn’t know his parents.

“Dad, seriously? Ugh, Patrick, these are my parents Wentworth and Maggie, parents, this is Patrick. Can he leave now?”

Maggie covered her mouth trying to hide her smile and hold in giggles, Patrick smirked when he noticed Richie was blushing, Richie Trashmouth Tozier was blushing at his parents wanting to meet his  _ guest. _ He found it too cute and wanted to pull him in for a kiss but he didn’t, not in front of Richie’s parents.

“Nice to meet you, Patrick. So are you two dating or... “ Wentworth trailed off.

“Dad! Fuck! Bye!” Richie yelled as he shoved Patrick to the door, Wentworth’s laughter reaching their ears, even after the front door closed behind them.

“Your parents seem nice,” Patrick said with a smirk.

Richie groaned, he could never live this down, he was embarrassed and he would die from it, how could his parents do that to him? How could Maggie let his father say that? She normally kept him in check so he wouldn’t embarrass his only son.

“Shut the fuck up, ugh, I can’t believe, my dad, actually insinuated us being  _ fuckbuddies!” _

Once at Patrick’s car, they stopped, Richie was unsure if he should say something, should he try to kiss him? No, someone could see. Should he hug him? Fuck, that seemed too, intimate. Anxiety over what to do swarmed around Richie’s mind but came to a halt when Patrick slipped his fingertips in the waistband of Richie’s jeans and pulled him close, his other hand going to the back of Richie’s head, and then to Richie’s surprise, he pulled him into a searing kiss.

Richie felt like he was melting into a pile of goo and he was fine with that. That breathless feeling hit him hard but he found he liked it, Patrick Hockstetter was kissing him outside, where anyone could see. Then Patrick pulled away and let go of Richie, causing Richie to grab the car and lean against it, he almost lost his balance.

“Don’t worry, I looked around, no one outside,” Patrick assured as he walked around to the other side of the car to get in.

Richie tried to find the words to speak, to say goodbye but all he could bring himself to do was wave, he was whipped and he knew it.

  
  


Richie walked back inside, his parents acting way too casual, the same way he would when he was spying and then would hurry to look like he had been doing something the entire time. His parents looked guilty of spying and he felt a blush creep back up his neck after it had finally gone away.

“Alright, I know you were spying, what the fuck?”

Maggie and Wentworth looked at him, giving a knowing smile and a slightly guilty and apologetic gleam in their eyes. Richie shook his head as he walked over to the couch and flung himself on it, and laid down and put his head on Maggie’s lap. She stroked his hair and he felt content.

“Neither one of you can tell anyone about this, if Patrick’s parents found out, he would be dead, and no I’m not exaggerating, his dad would literally kill him.”

“We would never out you or him like that, we understand Derry isn’t the safest place for people that are different,” Maggie said softly.

Wentworth quickly agreed, he loved his son no matter what he did, and he would do his best to protect him, even though he wasn’t around much, he still cared. He began to wonder if he would have to buy rainbow stuff and go to the gay parades he had heard of. Would he be allowed to go to support his son? Would Richie want him to do gay guy stuff with him? He thinks brunch might be a gay thing, he could do that, would Richie want to wear dresses and makeup? Was that a gay thing or something different? He was starting to overthink it too much and it made him anxious.

“Dad, you don’t hate me, right?”

“What? Never! I thought my embarrassing teasing made that clear,” Wentworth responded.

Richie smiled and looked up at his mom, she was smiling too. He would be fine, his parents had his back and knew not to tell anyone, Patrick would be fine and that meant Avery would be fine too. Richie grabbed his phone to message Patrick to let him know he was safe.

"I'll be the most supportive dad you've ever seen! We can go to brunch and oh! I can join  _ Grindr _ with you! Make some new gay friends, maybe even some my age!"

Richie almost choked on his spit, Maggie was softly giggling, and Wentworth, bless his heart, he was a bit confused, but he had the right spirit.

"And on that note, I'm out!" Richie yelled as he shot up off the couch and ran to his room.

"Did I offend him?" Wentworth asked.

"Dear, what do you think  _ Grindr  _ is?"

"Gay  _ facebook. _ "

Maggie laughed and tried to explain what the app really was, but she couldn't stop laughing so she pulled it up in the app store, and watched as the blood drained from her husband's face as realization set in on his grave error.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Patrick snuck inside his home, praying his parents weren't in the living room. He never really stayed the night anywhere unless Henry needed a friend, and his mother always knew about that. This would seem suspicious.

He made his way to Avery's room, finding his brother lying in bed, reading a comic. The sweet smile that greeted Patrick was comforting and he felt any tension he had left leave his body. He laid down next to his brother, being sure to leave just a little room in between.

"How goes the reading?"

"Good, I was taking a break from the computer. Did you spend the night with Richie?" Avery asked.

For a moment Patrick tensed up, he wasn't wanting to be too obvious with it, he knew Avery could see there was something, but his brother was only fourteen, he didn't need to know his older brother was getting laid.

"Uh, yeah. He was having a bad night so I went over to help him feel better."

"With sex?" Avery asked as if he were asking a normal question.

"What?!"

Avery looked at his brother, set the comic down and sat up, sat criss-cross, and put his hands in his lap.

"Isn't that how you make someone you like feel better? Or is that just kissing?" Avery asked.

Patrick sat up, putting his back against the headboard. He was not wanting to have this talk. He didn't even think Avery knew what sex was yet, he knew his parents didn't talk to him about it.

"Uh, what exactly do you know about sex?"

"The basics, the logistics of it. I think it sounds gross, I wouldn't want my penis in someone's body and I sure don't want one in me!" Avery responded, making a face towards the end.

Patrick laughed, he had a feeling Avery wouldn't be into things like that. He wished he could be as unashamed to talk about sex as his younger brother.

"You can comfort people you like with hugs, listening to them talk and cry, or doing something nice for them. It doesn't have to be sex or kissing. What makes you think I'm having sex with Richie?"

"Dude, I have checked out porn before, really fake so I didn't like it, but I have heard him make the same sounds that I heard in porn."

Patrick's face went beet red, his eyes wide. This day was proving to be nothing but embarrassment for him. He honestly thought Avery couldn't hear them, he was usually on the computer with headphones on. Now he had to live with knowing his little brother had heard him and Richie.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Richie is a cool guy and he is cute. Way better than Henry Bowers." Avery said.

"Henry? I never di-"

"I heard him demand you to blow him and when he finally left, you didn't look happy. I figured you didn't want to, but did it anyway to make sure Henry didn't hurt you." Avery explained.

  
  


Patrick remembered that day, he tried to block it out because that day was not a good day. Henry was in an extra foul mood and he had been picking on Avery until Patrick forced him into his room. They argued, Henry made threats to hurt Avery and even threw a few punches, that's when Henry had yelled to Patrick to blow him, and hoping it would calm Henry down, Patrick had dropped to his knees.

Henry hadn't expected that but the power must have been what he wanted because he sneered and grabbed Patrick’s hair to push him to his crotch. Shakily Patrick undid Henry's jeans, and Henry just laughed at him cruelly.

To Patrick the moment lasted for a long time, Henry was not a fun person to be intimate with. He didn't feel good in his mouth, and he was constantly gagging since Henry would push Patrick all the way down until his nose was in Henry's pubes, sometimes keeping him there for so long he thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen.

Henry also didn't taste good, he was sweaty from the heat outside, he probably didn't bathe as often as he should, and his musky scent was extremely potent. He also didn't see any reason to warn Patrick before coming, so the bitter taste of Henry’s cum made him gag, but Henry covered Patrick’s mouth and held him in place until he swallowed it. Reluctantly, Patrick swallowed the disgusting bodily fluid as Henry loomed over him, looking pleased with himself.

That day had been a bad day for Patrick, he felt nauseous, brushed his teeth, and showered, but he still felt incredibly dirty. He tried so hard to appear normal to Avery, but as usual, his brother was too smart for his own good.

  
  


"Forget about that. So you think Richie is cute? Are you into guys too?" Patrick asked, hoping the subject change would stick.

"I have eyes dumbass. I can tell when someone is pleasing to look at. And I don't know what I like. I know girls are pretty and I know guys are cute."

"Well if you ever like someone, you can always talk to me about it," Patrick said as he ruffled Avery's hair.

Avery whined in protest, trying to fix his hair and grumbling when it wouldn't go back the way he wanted. Patrick chuckled and helped his brother get his hair back the way he wanted, after all, he did mess it up in the first place.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


It had been a week since Patrick stayed the night at Richie's house. They hadn't spoken in person since, texting a little here and there. Richie had been busy with his friends and Henry Bowers decided to be attached at Patrick's hip.

It annoyed him that he could barely take a piss without Henry right there. Victor and Belch were silent about it, acted like nothing out of the ordinary, but he could tell they found it odd.

Henry didn't even leave when they did, he stayed and Patrick wondered if he was going to be stuck with the boy all night, Henry never asked to stay over, he just did it.

Now both boys were sitting on the floor in Patrick’s room, looking through magazines and talking every now and then, usually a comment about some girl's boobs. Henry had a black eye, he must have upset his father again, maybe he was hiding out at Patrick’s until his father cooled off. Lucky him.

  
  


"Are you listening man? I said check out the ass on this chick," Henry yelled while holding a magazine to Patrick's face.

The magazine was no doubt stolen from Mr. Keene’s Pharmacy, it looked new and the pages weren’t crumpled yet. The photo Henry was talking about was of a pretty girl, hopefully at least eighteen years old, with her ass on full display, and Patrick had to fake enthusiasm about it. Henry always looked at magazines that fetishized Asian women, Patrick found it gross. He wondered sometimes if Henry even saw them as human beings.

"Yeah, cool."

Henry put the magazine down and glared at him. He didn't like that answer, Patrick felt like he fucked up, but he couldn't pretend today to be interested in something he wasn't.

"Not your thing? Rather be looking at a dick?" Henry asked, with an edge to his voice that warned to tread lightly.

"Fuck you. You're the one who likes getting his dick sucked by a guy."

"I'm not a faggot who likes dick in his mouth. That's you, fucker! A hole is a hole, but a dick in your mouth makes you a fucking fairy," Henry growled.

Patrick flipped him off and went back to his magazine. That was the wrong move, next thing he knew, he was on his back, his head hitting the floor, and Henry on top of him.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Patrick yelled, trying to get up.

Henry’s fist made contact with Patrick's cheek, his rings cutting the skin a little, sharp pain and a slight cracking sound followed. Patrick groaned as he felt a wave of nausea.

"Listen here fag. I'm sick of you acting like you're better than me! You're nothing. The only thing you're good for is being a punching bag for me and a hole to fuck if I want. Now I'm going to put you back in your place!"

Panic filled Patrick’s veins, he felt Henry start to strangle him, his vision was getting darker and he knew what would happen if he passed out. His throat hurt from the pressure Henry was inflicting. He fought, he fought so damn hard to stay awake, but another punch to the same spot and he was out.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


The first thing Patrick noticed was pain, severe pain. His eyes were still closed and he felt cold. Groaning, he tried to move his arms but found he couldn't. His arms were tied to his bed, with something rough and scratchy, probably the rope that Patrick kept in his closet for certain unsavory activities. Henry knew about it, he had joined in a time or two, the audacity he would use it on Patrick now was almost ironic.

The next thing he noticed was the pain wasn't just from his face, it was also from the other end of his body. He felt pain with every movement behind him. He heard grunting and tried to look behind himself, but with his wrists bound, he couldn't turn his head enough, but he knew, he knew what Henry was doing.

Things were becoming more clear, Patrick realized he was naked, he realized that he couldn't scream for help because Henry had gagged him. He also couldn't risk blacking out again. What if Henry tried to hurt Avery next? If only he had just made an effort to act like he enjoyed the photo Henry was showing him. He just never thought Henry would ever go this far.

"You're awake. Good. I hope you feel every single thing," Henry whispered in Patrick's ear.

Patrick didn't reply, he just tried to not be in the moment, he tried not to cry but tears fell, and he tried to relax his body as much as possible, which was difficult. He could smell the cheap cologne Henry wore, he always hated it but now, it made him want to throw up.

  
  


Once Henry was done, he cleaned himself, untied Patrick, slapped his ass which caused Patrick to yelp, and then left without a word. Patrick laid there for a long time, only taking the gag out. He wanted to shower but he was in pain. He wanted to sleep but he had to wait for the sound of the front door first.

The front door slammed shut and Patrick knew Henry had left. He reached for his drawer on his bedside table, thankfully it was close enough, he pulled out a bag of pills, dry swallowed two pills, and then let the drugs take effect, and then he fell asleep.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Five hours later, Patrick woke up, groggy from the pills, and sore from Henry. He forced himself to get up, bodily fluids had dried to his body and he felt disgusting. He felt even worse when he realized that he had cum on his stomach, he was laying on his stomach, meaning his body actually achieved orgasm from his assault and he couldn’t hold back the bile that rose in his throat.

He quickly grabbed his trashcan and threw up. Now on his knees on the floor, he clutched the trashcan tightly until his stomach had nothing left. He felt something dribble out of his ass and knowing what it was made him feel even grosser.

He walked slowly to his bathroom, turned the shower on, and looked at himself in the mirror. He had a terrible black eye, worse than anything his father ever gave him. He was pretty sure his cheekbone was fractured and the urge to poke at it was strong. Dried blood coated his cheek from Henry’s rings cutting his cheek and he touched the bruising around his neck that was clearly from being strangled. He would have to wear collared shirts out of the house for a while, there was no way to explain that bruise away.

  
  


The hot water felt refreshing on his aching body. His muscles were able to start relaxing from the heat, his skin turned pink from how hot he made the water. He stood under the hot water for a long time before washing himself, he used twice as much soap when he finally started to clean up. He cried silently, he didn't want to risk anyone hearing him.

Washing himself and finding blood on his washcloth was not pleasant for him, He winced as he tried to clean himself as gently as possible. He wished he could just burn himself alive, then maybe he wouldn’t feel so dirty. He couldn’t help feeling like he deserved it, after all the shitty things he had done, after how many people he had hurt, maybe this was karma coming back to smack him down.

Out of the shower, he dried off, put on loose boxers, loose pajama pants, and an oversized t-shirt, and then dried his hair. He changed his sheets, throwing the dirty sheets away. He never wanted to sleep on those sheets ever again. He took two more pills, this time with water, and then laid back down. He covered himself with blankets and curled up as small as possible.

Sleep soon found him, it was restless but at least he didn't feel anything while asleep. He didn't dream and he didn't wake up when his mother knocked on the door to let him know dinner was ready. He slept through his father yelling at the tv when his team lost the game. If he had been aware, he might have been worried he took too many pills in such a short time, they were strong and he didn't take them often.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Patrick didn't leave his room for three days, he didn't eat, he just slept and took pills to go back to sleep. Avery tried to wake him a few times but to no success. He would leave Patrick a sandwich but it would go in the trash.

He showered on the third day for the short time he was awake and his head clear. He ignored the calls and texts from Richie. He even had a few texts from Belch and a phone call from Victor, nothing from Henry.

He didn't wake up when Richie knocked on his door, he didn't wake up when Richie shook him gently and said his name. Richie assured Avery he was fine, just asleep and probably hungover, hiding his worry.

He laid down in the bed next to Patrick, facing him, and got a good look at him. He saw the terrible bruise, thankfully Avery never saw it since his back was to the door, and he saw the bruising on his neck when Henry strangled him and the bruising on his wrists from the rope that bound him.

Whatever had happened to Patrick was bad, he knew it, he could tell how fragile Patrick was, he was pale and his face was tearstained. It took a few hours before Patrick woke up and when he did and saw Richie laying next to him, he panicked.

He jumped out of bed with a yelp, eyes wide and scared, and he backed himself to the wall, breathing heavily. Richie slowly got up but didn't go towards Patrick.

"Hey, it's ok, it's just me," Richie said softly.

Patrick seemed to relax a little, he walked a few steps closer, swayed a bit, but got back to the bed and sat down softly. The clean scent of Richie was soothing, he must have just showered, his curls were still a little damp and smelled of coconut.

"Oh, hey. I uh, been busy, sorry I didn't reply to you."

"Avery messaged me through  _ Minecraft  _ telling me you wouldn't wake up for three days and he was scared. He said you weren't eating either,” Richie explained.

Patrick winced at realizing he scared his brother, he didn't even realize it had been days since the assault happened. Everything felt like a fever dream, the pills were wearing off so he was feeling the pain more, he went to grab more pills but he frowned when he saw he only had one left.

He had bought a bag of twenty, had about fifteen when the assault occurred, and now it was three days later and he only had one left. He was quite lucky he didn't overdose because he had taken more than he realized.

"Patrick, what is that? Painkillers?"

"Yeah, I guess I took more than I realized. Fuck, I only have one left now," Patrick grumbled.

Richie took the bag but felt guilty when Patrick winced at the quick movement. Richie grabbed a bottle of  _ Gatorade  _ he brought for Patrick and handed it to him. Patrick took it hesitantly but drank from it, he didn't realize how thirsty he was until he finished the entire bottle.

"Did your dad do this?"

"No," Patrick whispered.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


The next day, Richie was hanging out with the losers club in their clubhouse, even though most of them were a bit too tall for it. They still met there often, it was their safe space.

Richie didn’t get in the hammock like he always did and that was the first red flag everyone noticed, Eddie didn’t get in the hammock either, it wasn’t the same if he didn’t have Richie to bicker with about sharing it. The second red flag was Richie didn’t go with Bev outside to smoke, he  _ always  _ went outside to smoke with Bev, it was their thing. The biggest red flag of them all though was, Richie was quiet, he wasn’t making loud crude jokes, he wasn’t arguing with Eddie, and he wasn’t talking over anyone. He seemed down, and they all knew something was wrong but nobody wanted to be the one to ask.

The quiet atmosphere was uncomfortable, everyone felt tense, and yet Richie was oblivious to it, all he could think about was Patrick. He couldn’t believe Henry Bowers could be that evil. He knew he had done some shady stuff, he knew he had done some terrible things, but he didn’t think Henry was capable of  _ this. _

“Alright Trashmouth, spit it out, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence.

Richie jumped, startled out of his thoughts, and then shrugged. He had promised Patrick he wouldn’t tell anyone, he didn’t want to break that promise but he needed help. He needed to talk to someone about it, even if that meant exposing their secret affairs. He knew one of his friends would know what to do, but the only problem was would they help?

It was no secret that everyone in the loser’s club hated Patrick Hockstetter, they hated everyone in Bowers’ gang. He had a hard time believing they would have sympathy for Patrick.

“Rich, you can talk to us,” Stan spoke out when Richie hadn’t replied to Eddie.

“Bowers did something really bad, I mean really really bad and-”

“What the fuck did that brainless asshole do to you?!” Eddie interrupted, standing up and hitting his head on a wooden beam overhead.

Eddie groaned and sat back down, rubbing his head, he looked over at everyone else, Bev shaking her head, Ben smiling a little, they all knew Eddie had strong feelings when it came to Richie and if someone hurt him, well he would have to do something about it.

“He didn’t do anything to me. He- he assaulted Patrick,” Richie almost whispered.

He waited for what felt like an eternity, looking down at the floor, wanting someone to just say something. He felt bad for breaking his promise but he knew it was for a good reason, he cared about Patrick and wanted to help him.

“Uh, Henry b-beats the sh-shit out of his fri-,” Bill said but was quickly interrupted by Richie.

“Not that kind of assault Bill!” Richie yelled.

All eyes were on Richie, no one knew what to say, they would never wish  _ that  _ on anyone but Patrick wasn’t their friend. They found it odd that Richie was upset about it, but they tried their best to understand, well maybe Bill just a little less than the others.

“So? We aren’t friends with him, yeah it's terrible b-but we aren’t going to care about our b-bully-”

“I fucking care William!” Richie interrupted Bill again.

Bill’s eyes widened, Richie had never called Bill, William before, it was strange to hear. Bev gasped and Stan did a double-take. Mike started to rise to try to break up the tension but quickly stopped when Eddie shook his head.

“Why?” Bill asked, after getting over the initial shock.

“Fuck you,” Richie muttered and started to head over to the ladder.

Everyone looked at each other, unsure of what to do, usually, they let Richie leave and cool off if he had a disagreement with Bill, but considering the matter at hand, should they leave him alone? Eddie grabbed Richie’s shirt to stop him and since it was Eddie, Richie stopped. 

“Don’t leave. Bill can be insensitive at times, especially when he doesn’t understand something. Is it because you’re worried Bowers might try to hurt one of us like that? Are you just worried because it happened to someone you know?” Eddie asked.

“No Eds, I care because no one deserves that. I care because his younger brother was home and he could have been hurt too.”

“Oh! You’re friends with Avery?” Eddie asked.

Richie nodded and looked away, yeah he was friends with Avery, but he was also friends with Patrick, or at least something like friends, they weren’t together but they were more than just friends. Now he understands why girls are always wanting to define their relationships so much, it sucks not knowing what you are to someone.

“That makes sense, you were worried for Avery. See Bill? If you are more gentle then things can make sense,” Eddie shot at Bill.

Bill frowned but nodded and gave a sympathetic smile to Richie, hoping they could just go back to hanging out and forget about the unpleasant things. Of course, Bill was never that lucky of a person.

“I’m still gonna head out. Later,” Richie waved at his friends and climbed out of their clubhouse.

Walking home would be nice, he could be alone, think, and maybe go see Patrick, make sure he ate, see if there was any possible way he could help. Richie hated to feel useless, it caused him quite a bit of frustration which led to self-hatred.

  
  


“Richie! Wait!” Stan yelled as he ran up to Richie.

Richie stopped and turned around to see his best friend, Stan and Richie had always been best friends, just like Eddie and Bill were best friends to each other. Richie used to tell Stan everything, that is until he realized he had feelings that weren’t normal, and now of course those feelings having him fraternizing with the enemy.

“Rich, talk to me, I know it's not just about you being worried about Avery.”

“I play  _ Minecraft  _ with Avery, found out a while back, so yeah we are friends,” Richie explained, hoping Stan would drop it. He didn’t.

“You used to tell me everything, now I can’t even read you anymore and it sucks. You can tell me anything, you know I won’t tell or judge.”

Richie sat down, his back to a tree, Stan followed and did the same, their bodies touching, the warmth from Stan felt nice to Richie, he took a deep breath and thought hard on how he wanted to go about this. After a few minutes of thinking, he finally spoke.

“I like guys,” Richie whispered.

“Yeah, I know that.”

“What?!” Richie screamed.

“You are not subtle, at all. You have been pining over Eddie since we first met him and we were like six.”

“Does he…?” Richie trailed off.

“He is absolutely clueless, just like you are.”

“What does that mean?” Richie asked.

“Nothing, continue.”

  
  


Richie took a moment to look at his best friend, really look at him. He always thought Stan was cute, definitely not at the level Eddie was, but he knew Stan wouldn’t have issues with girls once he started dating. His light brown curls were probably Richie’s favorite thing about him, other than his sarcasm of course.

Richie loved Stan like a brother, even when he knew that he was annoying the hell out of Stan. They had always acted like brothers, always there for each other, even late nights when Richie would sneak out and needed a friend who he wasn’t secretly in love with.

“I’ve been kinda seeing someone, like super casual. Mostly fucking but also we do care about each other,” Richie started, worried Stan would be mad.

“Really? Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. What about Eddie?”

“You know that nothing could ever happen there, Sonia has him thinking the AIDS epidemic is still happening for the gays.”

“I’m pretty sure he grew out of believing everything she told him. I’m sure he knows gay people aren’t sick.”

“There’s still more,” Richie said, bringing the subject back to the main focus.

“Oh, continue then.”

“The person I’m seeing casually, really casually, is uh, fuck Stan please don’t hate me, I swear to god if you hate me I’ll die.” Richie cried.

“Hey. I am not going to hate you. I promise.”

“It's Patrick… Hockstetter…” Richie whispered.

He could feel Stan tense up, heard the soft gasp, and his eyes started to tear up because he knew, he just knew he fucked up by telling Stan. His mind whirled with scenarios of the losers leaving him, beating him up, or just never speaking to him again and leaving him all alone.

“How, um how did that happen?”

Stan’s voice remained calm, as if he was asking about the weather, nothing in his voice gave anything away, Richie stole a glance and saw that Stan’s face was neutral. Stan was the king of poker face and Richie wished for once he could read his best friend.

“Funny story, I saved his life…”

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Richie told Stan everything, every little detail, sometimes a bit too much detail than Stan wanted but he listened intently, giving Richie his full undivided attention. He laughed when Richie told him about his parents finding out, and he felt sympathy when Richie told him about Patrick’s assault.

When Richie finally finished telling him the entire story, Stan hummed, thinking carefully on his next words, he was shocked, he wasn’t angry but he wasn’t thrilled about Richie being with Patrick. How was he supposed to threaten bodily harm on the guy if he hurt Richie, if the guy beat them up on a regular basis growing up?

“That was a lot. I’m still trying to process it all,” Stan stated after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah, and it's been killing me keeping it from all of you. I knew it would make everyone mad and I couldn’t risk losing any of you.”

“Never gonna happen Trashmouth. You’re stuck with us forever. So does this mean you aren’t in love with Eddie anymore?” Stan asked.

“I mean, I always will be. I don’t think that could ever go away, but I do care about Patrick, and he is different. You should see him with his brother, it’s sweet and I feel special for being the only one allowed to see it. He is also changing, he isn’t the same as he used to be, sure he still has a lot to change, but since this thing happened, he has become nicer and actually gives a shit about stuff. Like I  _ helped  _ make that happen.”

Stan smiled, he saw the way Richie’s eyes lit up, he saw the fond smile and the slight blush when Richie spoke of Patrick in more intimate details. He could see Richie had feelings for Patrick, never in a million years did he think something like that would ever happen, but here they were.

“I believe anyone can change, if you say he is changing then I believe you. Just be careful, his crowd is rough and he can’t even trust them to not hurt him. I don’t know how everyone else will react but I’ll be right beside you when you choose to tell them.” Stan said as he put his arm around Richie and pulled him into a side hug while still sitting against the tree.

They stayed there talking for a while longer before Richie decided he needed to get going if he wanted to see Patrick before heading home. When standing, Stan wrapped his arms around Richie and hugged him, Richie being the physically affectionate person that he was, reciprocated the hug. Goodbyes were said and both went opposite ways.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Richie arrived at Patrick’s house to find that neither of his parents were home, Patrick told him where the spare key was hidden, and Richie let himself inside and headed to Patrick’s room. He found Patrick laying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, and listening to music. He turned to look over at Richie when his door opened but turned back to the ceiling once he saw who it was.

Richie took no time in taking his shoes off then crawling into bed with Patrick to lay next to him. It looked somewhat promising when he noticed that Patrick was wearing clothes today instead of the same pajamas he had worn three days in a row.

“Hey,” Patrick whispered.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I feel the pain now that I don’t have any painkillers. I really think my cheekbone is broken,” Patrick explained as he gently poked his cheek, wincing at the pain.

“Don’t touch it. You need to go to the doctor, make sure it sets right, one time Eddie broke his arm and I tried to set the bone, needless to say, thirteen-year-olds are not licensed professionals and should never try to set bones.”

Patrick laughed and that sound was music to Richie’s ears, getting a small laugh out of Patrick made his day, he hoped he could continue to cheer him up. All he wanted to do was help Patrick feel better, if he had to be funny in order to do it, he would.

“Yeah, I think everyone knows that, surprised Kaspbrak didn’t kill you.”

“Oh, he  _ never  _ lets me forget it. At least I know to never go to medical school.” Richie said as he smiled at the memory.

  
  


They laid there for a while, just listening to the music Patrick was playing, Richie had never heard it before but he liked it, even though all the songs that played were depressing. Patrick had ended up putting his arm around Richie, letting him snuggle into his side. He was still wary of any physical contact but he wouldn’t let what Henry did to him fuck up what he had with Richie.

“I don’t know how you can like someone like me. I’m literally human garbage,” Patrick whispered.

He hadn’t intended on saying it out loud, it was meant to be a thought, but as he heard himself say the words, fear pricked up his spine. Would Richie come to his senses? Would he run away? He wouldn’t blame Richie, after all, they had history that wasn’t pleasant.

“I have thought that too at times, but you are changing. You have always had this part of you, you just only showed it to Avery. Now I get to see the Patrick that is sweet and funny, I get to see the good side of you. Haven’t you noticed any changes in yourself?”

“I have, but the things I’ve done…” Patrick trailed off, turning his head away from Richie.

“What’s the worst thing you have ever done?”

Patrick froze, no one had ever point-blank asked him that before. People made up rumors for sure, he exaggerated things he had done as well, after all, he needed a scary reputation. Did he really want to share this with Richie though? The one person that could break his heart, it would be putting a lot of trust into Richie.

“I killed someone,” Patrick said.

Richie sat up and turned to look at Patrick, wide-eyed but he didn’t look scared, he looked shocked. Rumors of Patrick killing animals and people were everywhere and the people of Derry believed it, he looked like a sick fuck and he acted like it too. He knew Richie had heard the rumors, they had gone to the same school and it's a small town.

“What?”

“I killed my grandpa, he wanted to die. He had been suffering and in pain for so long and he begged me to do it, he couldn’t do it himself, he had asked my dad but he refused, saying he wouldn’t play God or whatever. So he asked me, I was thirteen at the time, my parents were outside with my grandma and Avery, I guess he saw his chance and he took it. I couldn’t stand seeing him that way, I really couldn’t, I knew if it were me I’d want someone to do it for me. So I grabbed a pillow, looked at him one more time, he nodded and whispered a thank you, and then I did it. I suffocated him and by the time everyone else had come back inside, he was dead and I was watching tv, acting like nothing had happened. My dad always suspected me, I guess since my grandpa asked him first he probably figured out that I helped instead. I think that’s why my dad hates me now, he knows but he has no proof.”

Richie sat there, taking in Patrick’s story. It was a lot to process, it was a loaded question he had asked so he should have expected a loaded answer. He could see that Patrick was nervous, he wondered if Patrick had ever told anyone about it. Was Richie really the first person he shared this with?

“Did you ever tell anyone?”

“Just you. I was scared I’d go to prison, and also because, I kinda liked it. I felt powerful, I felt like I had the power to let someone live or die and that stuck with me for a while,” Patrick explained.

Richie leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Patrick’s lips, a surprised sound came from Patrick but he quickly melted into the kiss. Richie pulled away far too quickly for Patrick’s liking so he grabbed Richie’s shirt and pulled him back to his lips. He could feel the smile on his lips, he loved when Richie smiled into a kiss.

After parting, Richie hung over Patrick, looking at him with such fondness. It was a surprise to him that Richie didn’t immediately leave. He figured his story would have been the nail in the coffin of scaring Richie away.

“Thank you for telling me. I won’t tell a soul. What you did was out of love and compassion, you showed your grandpa mercy and took away his pain, it's totally different from just killing someone in cold blood.”

“Yeah, I guess so, that was really my defining moment, I felt like a monster so I acted like one. Henry was a bad influence too, but with my family hating me, except Avery of course, and feeling angry and scared, I became who I am,” Patrick admitted.

“Is it weird to say I noticed you always gave me more attention when beating up me and my friends?”

Patrick perked up an eyebrow and gave Richie a funny look, damn he had been found out. He hadn’t meant to always pick on Richie, he was just naturally drawn to him for some unknown reason at the time. The slight blush that was rising in Richie’s cheeks was the cutest thing he had ever seen, he would never get tired of the sight.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Patrick said innocently.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Richie laid in his bed, alone and thinking. Staring at the ceiling, hoping an idea would come to him, he groaned and reached for a cigarette from the pack on his bedside table. Lighting it and then taking a long drag, he continued to think.

He had to do something. He wanted to teach Bowers a lesson, he wanted to get revenge for Henry's heinous crime. He wanting to fucking kill Henry Bowers. He knew even though it would be quite satisfying, he would live the rest of his days in prison, and that wasn't ideal.

He could beat Henry up, possibly a surprise attack. He could get the losers to help him gang up on Henry, maybe scare him. He felt so powerless, he wanted to help Patrick but he couldn't do it alone.

Patrick had told him not to try anything, the last thing he wanted was for Richie to get hurt on his behalf, but that just didn't sit well with Richie. He cared about Patrick, he wanted to protect him, keep him safe. He needed Henry to know that he could not touch Patrick, that if he ever laid a hand on Patrick again, Richie really would kill him.

  
  


Once the cigarette was finished, Richie laid back down and tried to sleep. He would figure something out, he would talk to his friends and they could all figure something out. At least, he hoped they would help him. He knew Stan would, that was a given, Ben and Mike always helped so he wasn't worried about them. He knew he could bribe Bev if needed, but he was worried about Bill and Eddie.

Bill had been a dick, which yeah, he gets it. Patrick has been their bully since forever, but he had expected some empathy. Eddie was the one he was truly afraid of. He knew Eddie would be pissed, maybe even hate him. Eddie hated their bullies, and with good reason, but he knew the look Eddie would give him, that look of betrayal and anger, would make his guilt unbearable.

He never hid anything from Eddie, other than being in love with him since they were little, but everything else was always spoken between them. He knew Eddie would be hurt at Richie hiding something from him, he cringed just thinking about those brown eyes looking betrayed.

Richie really needed to get some sleep, he was meeting up with the losers tomorrow, he thought about bringing Patrick with him, but he knew he couldn't do that, not yet anyway. The rule for their clubhouse was if someone wanted to bring someone new, the entire group had to agree. He knew there was no way in hell that the whole group would agree to Patrick going.

Richie fell asleep about an hour later into a restless sleep. He had been thinking about what to say to his friends, trying to guess how they would react. He kept skipping over Eddie, he didn't want to think about that. In his avoidance, he finally slipped into unconsciousness and didn't wake up again until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed and I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this fic. Your comments and kudos give me life.  
> Feel free to chat with me on tumblr: fuji09


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